Hontoni(Many) Sorry !!!!

Sorry, lately I'm unable to access to internet. And now that i have internet, but im back to my college adi. So i dont have a pc there, since i brought it back to ipoh. I can't update my blog for sometime, until next week. we'll see again =D tata

singing.... i wanna sing !!!

well, i've always wanted to sing since... long long ago. and i've interested in it for some time too. but because some disagreement with my parent, i never had the guts to pursue it or improve it. i'm just too timid. is that the right word ? yea, i know its my dream but this is reality. you need money and how sure is singing gonna earn money for me ?

trying to make it right

Dear friends, just feel like writing again. Probably no one would know this, since i've deserted this blog for quite some time.

Life has never work out the way I wanted it to be. I've just thought of this a moment ago, maybe it would be pointless to wait for fate to set up my life, maybe i should just abandon it and try to make my own fate.

Still, there is still a lot of holes that i need to mend before i could really move again. I've force myself to forget things that had happened. Bad things that happen to me and bad things that i've done. It never really work, thought I wouldn't remember it. Honestly, i have fade memory of things that happen before. Probably cause im always rejecting it. Alright, back to the main point. Even if i dont remember it, my mind would still know, and the pain will still be there.

Probably, if i have the commitment to do so. I'll let everyone know about myself, my past and anything that i want to share. In hope that I could let it all go, and be a new person. For my family, for my friend, for everyone and lastly for myself.

Sorry, by the way. I know I ain't a good son, a good friend nor a good brother. All i ever know is sulk and sulk and sulk.

Pain

Just how much more, how much more pain can i endure. How much more before i couldn't take it no more and take away everything. I was in the shower earlier, I broke down and I cried, I scremed, and I repeatingly said this word "its so painful". Its weird, I said that but I don't feel any pain. I guess, I surpress myself from feeling the pain, but its still there. My mind knows it. Was there a lasting chapter in my life, that I could smile through? Will there be a lasting chapter in my life that I would smile through?

I've endured consecutive pain again and again and again since I'm twelve. Seven years, I tried to bring myself up by my own. Its not an easy thing to do. Cause shit will keep happening to you even when you're trying to be better.

Emotions are senseless to me now. Anger, Love, Hate, Pain, Sad, Happy, I don't feel anything. I'm as good as an empty soul.

Life's a bitch

My friend, David got admitted to the hospital few days ago. He was diagnosed with dengue and then with malaria and then neither of both. He got so weak, he and I thought he would go, and his doctor came back, he found out what's wrong with him. The reason why he got so weak is because some idiot doctor switched his meds. What he had is chinkugunya, an african mosquito disease. Today I visited him, he was still okay.... But I got a message from him just now, he's on life support and currently wearing a oxygen mask right now. The looks of him being in that condition, really hurts me. I'm helplessly sitting here right now, couldn't do a shit for him. I fear he might not make it. But I'm being optimistic, I hope and I pray that he'll make it. God, please heed my call.

I'm back for a moment, and will be gone after a moment.

Phew, I have been off the radar for quite awhile ever since my buddy left. And i spent all those time, being alone. I know, I am alienating people who knows me and cares about me. I can't help it,

I don't deserve anything.

My buddy is leaving to Australia...

The night if still, but our feelings shaken. We all know what's happening tonight. Well, you've read the title, one of my best buddy is leaving to Australia, the land of the kangaroos along with all the other strange animals and fruit. Do you all know kiwi originally came from Australia? It was a mix breed of some fruits and kiwi is born. I don't remember which fruit and which fruit but well this best bud of mine told me this =D How he knows? haha... its what he is born with, his dad sells fruits almost his entire life. So, his life must be full of fruity experience..... Oh yea, all this talking and forgotting to tell you his name. Its Boon Kent !!!

For some of you who doesn't know him, you might think he's not someone nice at time but if you do know him better, he is actually a good person. Well not everyone's perfect right ? He do sucks at some part. Its how god creates us with flaws which remind us to keep improving ourselves so these flaws hopefully will never show up. Well, he do have some attitude problem, he doesn't act right at certains situation and surely... would offended someone. Always learn to smile even if you're the one's on the table being laughed at. Everyone goes through that, sometimes its you on the table, sometimes its someone else. Tolerance that's what I'm saying, sooner or later it won't be you anymore. Smile =D

Okay that part was for HIM, so YOU could just skip and look at this now. He is a caring person, good to friends. No, great to friends actually, well only to those who deserve it. But then.... his you know problem sometimes just led him to be misunderstood by others.... Still he is great alright. Push away all your doubts and misunderstanding on him and ready to learn the real him.

He is a good person. ETC : He's caring for his friends. He'll do anything for his friends if you request anything from him, he would do more than you ask for too.

He is loyal. ETC: He never cheated to all his girl friends. How I know? Well, because I know. = =" He said this to me "I never regreted the time being with them, and something i forgot". But I think what he's saying is that, he really loved them when he is with them. With all his heart.

He is a good brother. ETC: Hmm, he don't really treats his brother well (LOL) but you can tell that he really loves his brother.

He is a good son. ETC: Every monday, tuesday and friday he helps his parent in pasar malam !!! You know its him when you see this guy who sells fruit and keeps flirting with the aunties.... really omg.... Nah, just kidding about that one haha

Well, that's all I could write about him today. If you wanna know him more why don't you add him in msn and ask him yourself ! >>>> (fishooi2006@hotmail.com)

And here's a picture of him.... I hope i know how to attach the picture of him..

Tada!!! The mighty Bruce.. opps Boon Kent I mean =D